peckerhead-red:

yet another unrealistic standard for cats

peckerhead-red:

yet another unrealistic standard for cats

bl00d-sugar:

I FOUND A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO MAKE DILDO POPSICLES IM LEGITIMATELy DYING OF LAUGHTER RN

literaryreference:

You know how it is, right, ladies? You know a guy for a while. You hang out with him. You do fun things with him—play video games, watch movies, go hiking, go to concerts. You invite him to your parties. You listen to his problems. You do all this because you think he wants to be your friend.

But then, then comes the fateful moment where you find out that all this time, he’s only seen you as a potential girlfriend. And then if you turn him down, he may never speak to you again. This has happened to me time after time: I hit it off with a guy, and, for all that I’ve been burned in the past, I start to think that this one might actually care about me as a person. And then he asks me on a date.

I tell him how much I enjoy his company, how much I value his friendship. I tell him that I really want to be his friend and to continue hanging out with him and talking about our favorite books or exploring new restaurants or making fun of avant-garde theatre productions. But he rejects me. He doesn’t answer my calls or e-mails; if we’d been making plans to do something before this fateful incident, these plans mysteriously fail to materialize. (This is why I never did get around to seeing the Hunger Games movie. Not to name any names, but thanks a lot, Tom.) Later, when I run into him at social events, our conversations are awkward and lukewarm. This is because the moment we met, he put me in the girlfriend-zone, and now he can’t see me as friend material.

I must say that I find this really unfair. I mean, I’m a nice girl. I have a lot to offer as a friend, like not being a douchebag and stuff. But males just don’t want to be friends with nice girls like me. They can’t help it, I guess; it’s just how they’re wired, biologically. Evolution conditioned our male hominid ancestors to seek nice girls as mates and form friendship bonds only with the other dudes that they hunted mammoths with. It’s true—I know this because I studied hominids in my fifth-grade science class.

So what’s the answer? Should I take up mammoth-hunting in an attempt to appeal to the friendship centers of men’s primal lizardbrains? Should I keep making guy “friends” and then prevent them from making a move on me by subtly undermining their self-confidence? Should I just give up on those manipulative, game-playing, two-faced bastards once and for all? I don’t know. I mean, I’d really like to have a true friendship with a guy someday, but it’s so hard to trust and respect them when they never say what they mean—and you never know when you might be relegated to the girlfriend-zone.

pegthepatriarchy:

Eat that pussy and be grateful. There’s starving nice guys in fedoras who don’t have any.

upyoursverily:

adrians1:

a friend came round to help me revise and forgot to log out of her facebook on my laptop so I’ve spent the last 20 minutes devoting her facebook to trains.

I’ve also got the middle name “ILikeTrains” pending and have joined 50 “I love trains” groups.

omg

nellie insists on sitting on my tablet

i moved her to my lap and started petting her and she got up and sat on my tablet again

hardcoreyuri:

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mami physics 

raratumtugger:

I want to hug you (◕‿◕✿)

And kiss you (◡‿◡✿)

And maybe bite you just a little (⊙‿⊙✿)

shoutout to my girlfriend who cleaned up the shit my cat made on my favorite pair of shorts because i was having a meltdown

fairytalemood:

“The Little Mermaid” by Ileana Surducan

homestuckresources:

theleijonlegion:

I just really love homestuckresources

for those of you asking for it to be rebloggable

homestuckresources:

theleijonlegion:

I just really love homestuckresources

for those of you asking for it to be rebloggable

madeleineishere:

Dress for your Body Type

midnaeverafter:

rabioheab:

i don’t know what yiff or yaoi or shota is but they all sound like things a surprised cowboy would exclaim

#well yiff my shota and call me a yaoi

humancentipeed:

In the Sims, you don’t say, “I love you.” You say, “Habadu bashubi,” which roughly translates to, “I cannot move because there is furniture in the way.” I think that’s absolutely beautiful.